I have some good news, and I have some bad news. It’s been my experience that most people choose the bad news first because no matter how bad it is, you still have something good to look forward to. So here’s the good news. Capcom has more Resident Evil remasters in development, and they’re coming soon. The bad news is while the oft-requested Resident Evil 2 remaster is among them, we won’t be seeing it anytime soon.
A few days ago I passed Capcom president Haruhiro Tsujimoto in the wood and screws aisle of a Home Depot. I didn’t immediately recognize him because I was having trouble seeing anything over all the buckets I was carrying, but when I did, my journalist instinct took over and I asked if he could A some of my Q’s. Before I could begin, Tsujimoto told me no one is doing the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge anymore, so I sat them next to a crate of wrenches, fishing lures and sandpaper so we could begin.
“We know exactly what our fans want,” Tsujimoto whispered into my ear. I was so busy admiring Home Depot’s abundance of competitively priced workman’s boots and transmission fluids that I didn’t see him walk up to me. “This is why we’ve kept an ear close to our community, because we want to deliver the Resident Evil experience our community hungers for.”
That’s when he told me everything. The meaning to life, the coordinates for the hidden treasure chest he saved up back in his pirate days, and, of course, Capcom’s two-year plan.
Coming in 2015 is a remaster of Resident Evil 0, now with 200% more leaches. It will be followed by a re-release of Resident Evil 3 that he promises will look better on modern TVs than it did on CRT televisions back in the day. Bringing 2015 to a close will be a current-gen port of Resident Evil 4, now with added support for PS4 and Xbox One, but little else.
Next year is where it gets really exciting. Kicking off the year is the Resident Evil 5: Even Golder Edition. The only difference is they’ve edited out Chris Redfield for that boulder punching scene in the volcano, and replaced him with Goku from Dragon Ball Z. Next up is more Resident Evil 4, which Capcom plans to drop on whichever platform they feel like bringing it to at the time.
Oh yeah, then we get Resident Evil 2 HD. I wasn’t able get a straight answer from Tsujimoto about a release date for RE2, but he did give me a somewhat nebulous 2016-2018 release window.
“We’ve thought about it for a long time, and we’ve decided that bringing the Resident Evil franchise back to its roots in survival horror is going to take a crazy amount of work, so rather than waste our time and yours with something like Resident Evil 7, we’re just going to keep doing this remaster thing.”
“We may even revisit that Operation Raccoon City game that no one liked, because you’re probably going to buy that,” Tsujimoto added. When I asked him about any plans they might have to return to the Outbreak series, he had disappeared.
At some point in the near or distant future, pre-orders will be available wherever it is that pre-orders are sold. Should you run into any trouble, just tell them Adam sent you. That got me into a Burger King once. They even let me seat myself.